how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
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She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
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I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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