i think i have two assholes
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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