There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
