I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
