mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
