I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
