The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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