i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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