So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had to cum in my sink.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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