He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
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The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
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She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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