We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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