are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
