you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
