loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
