She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
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the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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