Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
don't judge my taste in strippers
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I touched a dick in church today
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
