That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
