make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
