no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
