I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
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He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
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Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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