did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
