Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
