I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
