She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
