When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
