My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize