My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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