Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
