ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
