i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up under a house in Key West
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize