GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
