We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
