M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Damn victory sex feels great
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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