Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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