All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
