If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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