these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
