That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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