is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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