Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
