ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
