Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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