i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So many bounce houses so little time
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
