i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
