my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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