I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
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He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
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