The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
