I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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