I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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