absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
