Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
