I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
