eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How does one acquire holy water?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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