don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
