What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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