so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
