That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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