I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
