i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
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she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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