That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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