Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need water and some morals
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize